Dear expats: what do you miss about home?

Every year the expat hubs around the world begin to leak foreigners who flood back to the homeland. Like birds, the migratory pattern is seasonal and routine.

We have lived in two of the world’s biggest global expat hubs, Dubai and Singapore, and the phenomenon is similar in both places.

After school breaks up in June, families depart for the Western world, the husbands only staying a week or two in order to protect their annual leave.

But why do we make this annual trip, at great expense and inconvenience? After all, the husband complains he misses the kids (and occasionally his wife), the children complain that they miss their toys and friends, and the wife is pulling her hair out carting children around single-handedly.

[As an aside, I’ve often heard expat wives complain about hair loss issues. This happens in both Dubai and Singapore. I once put this down to desalinated water (Dubai) and humidity (Singapore). Now I put it down to stress of the Expat Exodus. I’ve just returned from the UK after a four-week trip. One week in Singapore and the plughole looks like the Yeti has fallen down it.]

So back to the subject. There are several reasons why the summer Expat Exodus is a necessary one. Most importantly it is about your identity and place in the world:

1.     We’re expats. We haven’t emigrated. This means we still feel the pull of the homeland. We understand that circumstances and jobs change all the time, and while we may feel that we’re here to stay, we could be gone tomorrow. We are part of a transient society.

2.     The homeland offers us stability in a global economic market that has had its ups and downs. We understand how the homeland ticks. We haven’t had to learn it, unlike our temporary expats homes. There is something comforting and effortless about that.

3.     Culture is important. What is the world without it? And so we ensure our children know what they need to know about bring British, or American, or Australian, or Kiwi.

4.     Family is really where the home is. We make fantastic friends in our expat homes, supporting each other with knowledge and a tissue when our mother is too far away. We all need support, and there is a certain magnetism about being with your own tribe.

5.     Friends also fit into the support category. We are the ones who have moved away and we need to make every effort to stay in touch with homeland friends. Forget about them and your risk feeling like an expat when you return home, starting your network from scratch.

6.     Getting out of the heat. Of course we love the weather where we live, most of the time. But everyone needs a break from 50C heat and 99% humidity.

We all miss different things about our homeland. For some it’s a postal system that runs smoothly (Dubai doesn't have a door to door system). For others it’s the freedom of having a car (Singapore, where the cost is astronomical).

For me, apart from friends and family, it has been the British countryside, gastro pubs and historical houses.  Oh, and strawberries that taste like strawberries, and don’t cost $20 and have a guilty-inducing 10,000 air miles attached to them.

What do you miss and why do you go home? We'd love to know.


Linked to the My Global Life Link-Up at SmallPlanetStudio.com.

“What's the weather like in Singapore? What does it feel like when it rains?” a friend asked.

“Erm, wet.” I said, not quite sure how to answer. I had returned to the UK for the first time since moving to Singapore.

However, once the clouds bubbled up over the English countryside I understood the question. There was a looming feeling, a heaviness across the shoulders, a tightening across the brow. The skies darkened as if nighttime had fallen early. The wind picked up, rustling dried leaves in a distinctly autumnal way, even though it was only July. And then of course it rained. Cold and blustery. A pervading dampness was sucked into the bone marrow. The road turned into a trickling muddy stream, and the seeds were striped from the trees, adding to the mounting detritus on the pavements.

Of course it didn't feel like this in Singapore.

I woke up this morning in Singapore to a yellow, sulphuric glow in the room. Was it sunshine? Had I overslept? I looked at the clock but it was only 7am. Then my ears woke up and I could hear the rush of water. Rain in Singapore is different. It happens nearly every day. And it still surprises me.

You first notice the colour of the sky. The clouds aren't always dark and threatening. This morning it was bright, but the yellow pallor was radioactive rather than fresh and cheerful.

And secondly you notice the intensity. The rain just rains. Rarely a breath of wind. It falls straight down. With such force it splashes through my umbrella. It's cleansing, washing the paths clean and turning the roads into gushing rivers.

I wouldn't usually want to go out in such weather, but after two hours the downpour showed little sign of abating. I had an appointment to keep, and with no car, the only option was a dash to the bus stop. Taxis are magic in Singapore. They disappear during rainstorms.

However inconvenient it is, at least it's warm. The rain often gives a short reprieve from the stifling humidity, and when you get wet you're unlikely to catch a shiver, unless you have to shelter in an over-air-conditioned coffee shop. You just fold away your umbrella, put it in into the handy plastic bag provided by most shopping malls to prevent everything else getting wet, and get on with the day.

Often the rain is accompanied by roaring thunder. This is no innocuous rumble. This is ear splitting, often shattering tree branches with its intensity. And then there are the lightening shows that dance across the sky. John Michel Jarre's laser shows can't even compare.

So the question “what does it feel like when it rains?” isn't so dumb after all.

My parents recently came to visit us. I asked my mother, Joan Fry, to put together her top tips and advice for visiting Singapore…

As our daughter and family live abroad we have been privileged to stay with them in various countries; the US, the UAE and now Singapore. One of the most interesting challenges we have faced has been to cope with different weather and traditions. Visiting Chicago the worst of the winter weather can be avoided by going spring time or autumn, also the same can be said of Dubai but for a different reason - avoiding the worst of the heat during the summer.

Staying in Singapore is a whole different ball game as the country is so near the equator. The weather is more or less the same all year round. This means it’s hot and steamy, with temperatures ranging from 28C at night to 35C during the day.

After being there a few days, and melting under a hat, we noticed that the locals used umbrellas to keep the sun off. This allows the air to move around and keeps arms and shoulders safe from sunburn; it also has an added benefit of sheltering from the frequent sudden and very heavy rainstorms.

Clothes should be light and easily washed as they need frequent washing. Also shoes need to be comfortable, as feet swell in the heat, and also waterproof.

As with other hot places, there are biting mosquitoes, which although not malarial, can transmit Dengue fever, so it’s essential to apply Deet or some other insect cream. The government does what it can to try to keep mosquitoes down by spraying with insecticide and making sure residents don’t have standing water around to allow them to breed, but inevitably bites happen so don’t forget the antihistamine cream.

All this makes it sound like a most unpleasant place to visit but it’s not. The locals are really friendly and most welcoming. The city is beautiful and lush. There are many flowering trees with ferns growing in the branches and the Frangipane gives the place a delightful perfume.

Although it is supposed to be the most expensive city in the world, it need not break the bank. There are many places to eat reasonably priced meals, such as the Hawkers’ market, where the food is very cheap and among the best. Certainly it’s where the locals eat.

Public transport is again very reasonable, air conditioned and clean. Buy an EZ Link card to swipe in and out. This can be topped up and reused.

Living and being with our grandchildren has opened our eyes, seeing things in a whole new world. Living somewhere is an entirely different experience to travelling through somewhere. The children, now aged seven and five, have no preconceived ideas and notice things that would otherwise go unnoticed. It adds an added dimension to the travel experience when you have a small child as your tour guide.

Here's more..
Down with Dengue Fever - what are the symptoms?
Taking Tiffin: The Tiffin Room at Raffles Hotel
Top ten activities in Singapore

Each time I travel, I step into a time machine. An understanding of the past gives me an appreciation of the present. From there I can allow my mind to wander around the possibililities of the future.

But travel can also send me to new worlds that are full of drama and excitement, especially if the destination has been part of a film set. Sometimes I turn a corner and feel the familiar sense of déjà vu. The familiar scene I see however, evaporates with the realisation that I’ve only seen it on the silver screen.

Today, computer generated graphics are so realistic it’s often a challenge to work out film sets that are real, and those that are digitally created. So if you fancy stepping into a film here’s my top three untouched sets. Click the links for more information about each destination.


New Zealand & Middle Earth: no trip to New Zealand is complete without wandering around like Bilbo Baggins. The Lord of the Rings films are virtual adverts from the tourist board, with beautiful vistas of rolling green hills and craggy snow-capped mountains. Here’s more information about a trip to JRR Tolkein’s fantasy kingdom. 

• New Zealand in pictures

Jordan & the home of the Holy Grail: The Treasury at Petra, in Jordan, provided the stunning backdrop to Indiana Jones and the Crusade, as the entrance to the temple housing the Holy Grail. You used to be able to go inside The Treasury, but it’s now roped off. However, you would have been disappointed. It’s a plain dark square cavern. There are no curtains of cobwebs or wobbly stone floors waiting for an unsuspecting gold digger. Travel around Jordan for a week or more and travel through time from Roman rule to Lawrence of Arabia's desert.

• Jordan in pictures

Cambodia and the Temples of Doom: Ta Prohn, near Siem Reap, is the Angkor Wat temple that became part of Lara Croft’s Tomb Raider set, and Indian Jones and the Temple of Doom was also filmed here. Tree roots cling to and ooze over the ruins. Luckily I wasn’t offered any monkey brains. 

• Cambodia in pictures

Here’s a few more out of the way sets to explore:

• USA, Lower Manhattan, New York: The Tribeca firehouse at 14 North Moore Street made a star appearance in Ghostbusters.
• USA, Astoria, Oregon: the 19th century Captain George Flavel House Museum, was the Pirate Museum in The Goonies, where Mikey’s dad worked.
• UK, Monson Road, London: home of The Winchester pub in Shaun of the Dead, now renovated.
• UK, Carlton Street, Edinburgh: The stone bridge archway is the site of the opening scene in Trainspotting when Renton tries to run away after shoplifting.  

Where’s your favourite film set? We’d love to hear from you. Drop us a line.